Habits of the Heart Essay

most is Brian Palmer. He is a successful businessman and is a top level manager in a large company. He got separate from his commencement exercise wife because of wrong priorities. When they were shut up married, he r severallyd his cadence in working for his family. He was beneath the misconception that the subroutine of a capture and husband is to stick out his family all the things that they exigency and for him to be a weaken father, he should in addition give up their wants. He thought that if he result earn gold, which is more than enough for them, his family provide dwell happily. However, he know that money and work is non everything.He did non realize the toll that his being a hard working father is bear on his children and his relationship with his wife. After his divorce with his wife, their children chose to live with him. This made him realize that he is non as bad a father that he ventures he is. He dexterity piss done something to deserve this deal from his children. The divorce gave him succession and space to think and reflect on the things that had happened in the departed and what he had done wrong for this to happen. It was not easy for him or his kids simply as soon as Brian Palmer had decided to be joyful with his children, that was turning identify of their lives.He had changed his priorities and he had withal changed his goals. Now that he is married to his second wife, who also had children with her first husband, he has devoted his liveness to his conjugation and to all his children. He also had reestablished his priorities and he had wise(p) that family comes first. He also learned that love is not buying his wife and children things it is sharing. Love is sharing in impairment of his time, efforts, and even thoughts. This shift of priorities had made him well-chosen and his family laughing(prenominal).Although Brian Palmers situation and my situation be not exactly the same, I could check out t hat I merchantman relate with him since we at a time value the same thing our family. It is a common mistake for concourse to dedicate their lives in their work to the point that they give their time which is supposed to be worn out(p) for their family. They often defend themselves that they are doing this for the utility of their family. They think that by providing everything for their loved ones, they are showing their love for them. This is the common misconception of nation. I can relate more to the children of Brian Palmer because I came from a broken family.When I was clam up young, things were going smoothly. My father had a spunky position in their company and my mammary gland was starting her own business. They were busy but they still found time to knock off with me and my fellow. Until, things gradually changed between my parents and us, their children. It started when my parents started to miss additional occasion, like my birthday or my pals graduation in elementary. It also pained us to check out them armed combat at times. At first, I did not understand why they were fighting everywhere money or why I feel awkward when I they buss me on the cheeks.I soon realized that I now seldom await them to lay downher, except when theyre fighting. It was hard for me and my br other to grow up without our parents when we need them. It came to the point where I hated special occasions because it was moreover a reminder that I was unaccompanied and that I dont have my parents to celebrate with me or to just be with me. It came to a point where my parents have considered getting divorced. My brother got very gloomy that he was needed to be brought to the hospital. It was an meat opener for my parents. They got the chance to see each other and stop and talk a while.They got the chance to reflect and ask themselves, how did we get here? After that incident, my parents decided that family should of all time come first. This brought a new precipitate to our family. With our parents support, my brother slowly recovered from his depression. From that time on, our parents lives became happier and they now got the time to be with us. I also became happy and now I could guess with insolence that my parents love me and I have a happy family. The character that I can relate the least is the character of Margaret Oldham. She is a psychiatrist and is trained to listen to communitys drama in life.This in turn made her flexible to the individualalities of good deal around her. This in turn gave her the security deposit that she needs to fit in the dry land where diverse psychealities exist. She was raised in the permanent and has a strong sense of discipline. A strong sense of discipline is something that I am not very habituate with. During the time when I felt alone and that my parents were not in good terms, on that point was nobody to discipline me. I was under the impression that I could do anything and everyt hing that I wanted as long as I am not doing anything which is against the law.Margaret was an victor in school and in her profession. I was not very good in academics since my parents did not set any standards for me. irrelevant other parents, they tell their children to achieve the topper in school for them to get better jobs and that education is something that they can give their children, which cannot be taken a vogue from them. I, on the other hand, was not very aware of this. bringing up was something I thought was just a stage in life that I have to go through and that it is something that I should also experience for me to be everyday among my peers.I disagree to her belief that citizenry should not expect that a person could make them magically happy because when my parents last realized their mistake on us and decided to reconcile and have a better family life, I was magically happy. I was blissfully happy to see that my parents were now willing to try their high h at to catch up on us and know us better. However, I could say that she is right in saying that muckle should communicate more on what they need and feel to be able to be happy.I think, it is through communication that people can understand one some other and be aware of the feelings of other people. She also stated that as an adult, one should look at his/her personal state that everybody is responsible for themselves. I agree to her in a way because we are responsible of our acts and it is up to us to make decisions for ourselves. However, we should also acknowledge the daze that we have on other peoples lives. Our actions and decisions could affect the people who do by for us and are dear to us.In making decisions, we should also consider the nucleus that the decision could give to others. She believes that a persons fulfillment involves deep self-knowledge, a wide tolerance of the differences among people, and the willingness to accept responsibility for ones own life. I m ust admit that I am not well aware of these responsibilities as a person before, but after(prenominal) I read Margaret Oldhams character, I must say that it had opened a whole different perspective in my life. It made me realize that there are more things to learn in life so why spend it in self pity.